I’m not.
Still no word. (updated above) But I should share with you something that I recalled last evening: I don’t think there was anything on my blood lab form that indicated something along the lines of “stat”. So, knowing the specific blood lab the way I do, I am now just hoping I get the effing results before the end of the effing week. I realize now that I could have marked my own damn “stat” on the form and feel like an idiot for not doing so.
Last night I had a dream that I was driving on a busy highway in a beautiful silver car. It was evening time and the highway was glowing with headlights and breaklights. As I was driving along I became aware that I no longer remembered how to drive. The machine was totally foreign to me. I let go of the wheel and the vehicle sped down into a ditch. Smoke wafted up from the crash and the bustling traffic continued above the wreck on the highway. And then I pulled myself out of the crushed pile of tin and mechanics. I was confused and frightened. My clothes were torn and blood was matted across my face. But I was alive, and I knew that I was going to be ok. Somehow.
I woke up at 3am after dreaming this rich and freaky thing and wanted to do all that I could to get it out of my head. I turned on the television and watched my tivo’d tuesday night’s Daily Show/Colbert Report and then I drifted back off to sleep.
I woke up again, with the alarm this time, and the first thing that came to my mind was the car wreck dream. And it is still with me now. I am working at comprehending the message- even when I don’t know what the hell I am doing, I will be ok. I can survive this crash. Don’t drive a silver car.
Still hoping for a beta of less than 10, or because it would make a great Hollywood ending, greater than 40,000. Feel free to laugh.
Oh, and for those of you that asked: My friend went on to win the Showcase showdown. He won another car (which he gave to his Mother) and a bunch of other stuff. I used to watch the tape of him on the show when I needed a pick me up. It is friend prozac.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Waiting, waiting, waiting… right here beside you, Cali.
xxx
Oh for the love of jake. Are you kidding??!! Nothing is quite as hellacious as waiting.
I am voting for the over 40,000 because why not. We are about due for fantastic news. Second option is less than ten. Anything in between in not acceptable.
Damn. Give us the number! We’ll call and demand your results!
Me too…I’m sorry you are still waiting. Less than 10 (to have it over with) or greater than 40000 (for a healthy iota…) will be my mantra for Cali today. You deserve to have answers so you can move on for Petes sake!
I like that idea. Friend Prozac. I will work on sending me to you in pill form. Ok, maybe not a pill but an easily digestible version of me that lifts your spirits
ugggh. STAT STAT STAT
fwiw, it really shouldn’t take long for any lab to run an HCG, stat or not. i do hope it gets back to you soon. and yes, here’s hoping for >40,000. or, barring that, <10 and peace and resolution to this part of your incredible process.
ugh, sorry for the wait. maybe you can just keep bugging the nurses so they call you right away?
I’ve had many anxiety dreams with the car careening out of control — very typical for me, that and airplanes where I have no control — but I don’t remember ever walking away from a crash. I would take that as a very telling sign…
~luna
hey girl…
thinking of you and hoping for a 40K)
no matter what ~ WE LOVE YOU!!!
xo
crap. this thing doesnt like parenthesis…
it hijacked 90% of my comment.
i said i was hoping for a 40K.
shit. see what i get when i try and be clever.
the last line still holds true tho!
love you!
ok. it doesnt like ANY alter symbols.
ahem.
i SAID i was hoping for some MAGIC when i read your original stillpositive post.
this better post or i may go postal
xoxo
Wow! Miss a few days, and miss alot! I’m waiting with baited breath. What a story.
Oh, WOW! I missed a few days, and look what I missed!
You mean you may actually still be pregnant? OMG. I’m sooooo praying for a vanishing twin or something.
XO
Dude, I’m a nurse and I can pretend to be your nurse…
If you want
just know that all of us are waiting right along side of you.
As for the dream: Maybe GM sent you the dream through her sleep to let you know how each day is for her? I don’t know why, that was my first thought.
insist on an u/s to make sure there are no products of conception messing things up. and then screw them on all their betas. if the u/s is clear wait every 2 weeks if you want to. or even 3. pee on sticks in the meantime, that will give you an indication as well. that’s what i did. even if your insurance covers the betas, they are stressful and sad. you don’t need the extra aggravation.
Oh for the love of….
Just know you’re in my thoughts today and I’m refreshing like mad waiting for the results.
And if it will make you feel better, I could send you the 3 feet of snow currently on my front lawn….’cos I know how you love some snow
That’s a little subconscious Gloria Gaynor for you, my friend. I admit ignorance. The only betas I know anything about are colourful fighting fish. More symbolism? I dunno. I just wish you peace, happiness and dreams that come true… minus any cars.