Back in my old job in the wild, wild west leaving phone messages was a giant chunk of my job description. In fact I had to maintain something called a call log, which was a massive wired notebook of all the calls placed and their status. A placed call that was considered completed was logged in with the time of the call and a brief description of the call. A yellow highlighter was glided through the entry indicating that the call was complete.
If you placed a call to someone and they called you back, that was also indicated in the log with a giant and capitalized “R” for Returned. The “R” was important. How fast was the call R’d? Was it the same day? The same hour? It was all important in keeping tabs of the pecking order of Hollywood. Making a returned call was a power move. When calling someone back you must indicate that you are “returning”, to not indicate such would throw off the log of all assistants and second assistants on the line carefully witnessing, er, monitoring the call.
When you are unable to connect with someone via the phone you then “leave word”. Leaving word can be complicated or it can be simple. If you are in phone tag with someone, meaning you have called, had your call returned, and are now calling back- well all you need to say when returning that call (should the call not be connected) is “Leave word”.
The more annoying callers are the ones that initiate the call to you, do not connect and then go into an epic message. Epic messages are the worst. You see how tidy my phone life was in my last universe? All efficient and succinct. No messy outbursts or tragedies. No weeping into a voicemail. No wondering when your call would be returned.
This morning I made my post-it prep card. I knew it was a long shot that I would get to speak to a human so early in the morning, but I wanted my call logged in so that it would have a chance at being returned promptly (feel free to laugh over the idea that anyone could ever get a prompt returned call from an RE’s office). So I called, I dialed in the exchange for the IVF nurses, and then I left the longest message in the universe. Me. An epic message leaver. So sad.
I guess I have some sort of hope that someone will call back with an action plan already figured out. I don’t want to have to be the gal that has to tell her stats 30 times a day.
Here are the notes from my post-it so that you can play along:
1/3: beta 160, not doubled, stopped PIO & estrogen
1/8: Blood, 2 weeks
1/23- 1/24: no blood
1/25: + hpt test
1/25- present: brown sludge
2/11: + hpt test
UPDATE (10:48am): Got a call back from the “pregnancy nurse” who was annoyed (miffed?) that I left a message for the IVF nurses and not the pregnancy peeps. Gee…I wonder why I didn’t call the pregnancy nurses. Anyhow, she says that I was supposed to get another beta on 1/5, but that was news to me. The RE assigned to my “case” is in procedures all morning, but I am to get a beta test as soon as I can (which, for me, is tomorrow morning). Based on that they will have a better idea of what is up.
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
I give you a lot of credit for not showing up at their doorstep.
I hope that they return your call quickly with a plan of action. I really really hope you don’t have to give your stats again. <3
Sounds to me like you did a great job leaving a message. Had it been me, they wouldn’t have heard a word through all of my sobs. Keeping my fingers crossed that they return that call promptly and get you some answers!
I hope the call back comes quickly. Nothing more frustrating than waiting all day for a call back. I also hope that you get the answers you need. Hang in there.
Ugh…and you KNOW they are going to say, go get bloodwork stat. And then ANOTHER wait. Ugh.
Post as soon as you hear….
I give you credit for not slapping the crap out of someone.
just sayin’.
Really, it’s all the patient’s fault for being confused, not their fault for not explaining it properly, right? um, right? I guess you didn’t attend the information sessions they held explaining the process ahead of time? Unbelievable, especially considering that this is obviously a difficult time for you. Yes, it’s too bad you couldn’t reach through the phone and slap someone.
huh? i don’t get it. what is going on?
Oh lord, girl, i am just catching up and reading about all of this. i can’t imagine how mixed up you must be! i so hope you get some answers soon.
I do hope you get some answers very soon. Did they mention an ultrasound at all?
Jesus Pete. The incompetence of the medical community never ceases to astonish me. I hope you’re able to get this all sorted out quickly.
Hey, here from Stirrup Q. so awfully sorry for your loss. In ’02 I had what I now refer to as “Miscarriage, the extended dance-mix version” in large part due to my large, insanely busy, rather impersonal OB office. In short: get in there, and get your beta drawn, and do it every week until it goes down, and I mean, down to 4 or less. If it levels off and isn’t dropping to your satisfaction, DEMAND an ultrasound pronto. I had “leftover product” (lovely. Term clearly coined by a male) and wound up having a D&C 3.5 months after my “miscarriage” was confirmed. i went through the scary “could be molar” discussions and all that, but in the end it was just a major pain in the ass that set me back three months. All I can tell you is please, be proactive. Demand. Just walk in and ask for a beta. No one deserves to be treated like this, least of all someone who has just lost a pregnancy. I’m sorry, and will check back to see how it’s going. best.
hey ms c. i am so sorry you have to (continue to) go through this.
this is a completely (inappropriate?) non-sequitur, but i tagged you if you’d like to do a meme as a distraction.
my thoughts are with you quite often.
Thanks for your good thoughts (they really do help so much)- just found out there was doubling (thankfully thankfully).
I can’t believe you have to go through all of this. I am shocked that your doctor didn’t insist on following you until your beta was pretty much gone. Isn’t that some sort of negligence on their part?
I agree with Tash, above, that you should demand a sonogram tomorrow in addition to the beta. No doubt since your home test was positive so far down the line, your beta will be positive as well. Since you are going to be there in the morning anyway, get the sonogram.
btw, I love how you describe the phone message system from your old job- that sort of system could be put to good use in so many other situations.
Good luck tomorrow, I am very sorry you are dealing with this, but it does explain why you’ve been feeling so awful.
Glad you made the call and now have plans for a beta. I’m so sorry this isn’t yet over for you though. Take care.
The supposed “professional” asks the woman who has suffered a miscarriage why she didn’t call the PREGNANCY nurses to resolve a very serious medical issue that their negligent lack of follow-up has created?
This shit infuriates me. And it is waaaay too common. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. Hope you’re doing okay tonight.
Just came back to check for an update. I’m glad you are on your way to setting your mind at rest, even if it does mean stirring up old feelings. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow.
Holy crap Calliope,
You’re still going through the wringer over this one, poor thing.
Hoping that you get answers soon,
xx
J
Ug. Stupid nurse. Also, S had positive pg tests for months after her D&C…it seemed like a ridiculous period of time. and it would totally have fucked with me more (as in hoping) if the whole business had not been scraped out. fucking hope.
Oh Cali…i am so sorry you are in this limbo-land.
Ok, i’m going to put on my doctor hat now and tell you about a woman i saw once who was shocked to find out she was about 6 months pregnant because she had miscarried (so she thought) about 5 months earlier. My theory was (and still is) that she had conceived twins and lost one. Since you had two iotas transferred, I’m going to hold onto the hope that MAYBE that is the case with you.
Once again, i’ve gotta be that annoying “polyanna” when in reality (in my own life) that’s far from the case. Either way, i hope you get resolution soon and either way, i am so so sorry you have had to experience this up and down drama.
And yes, i agree, the f**ers at your clinic had no right to treat you that way. Why WOULD you assume you were still pregnant after all that bleeding and the poorly increasing beta?? Do these people know ANYTHING???
I am sending you all my prayers and support. You’ve been through enough, already.
thinking of you and will continue to be here to listen and sit with you…
much love,
gypsy
YOU ARE PAYING THESE PEOPLE! I am sorry, but I get so very upset when I hear of women today still dealing with the power struggles involved in reproductive care. An advocacy group must be formed…….(sorry my issue not yours)
I wish you the best of care and heartfelt peace.
I will be watching for your update. Please take a look at my blog.
Wow, first time I’ve checked in in a few days. Hang in there, girl.
I hope tomorrow brings you answers. Nothing worse than waiting when all you want is answers!
I hope you get some answers soon, this limbo thing is gotta a suck. As for the nurse, well what do you say to that except dumbass.
Thinking of you this morning Cali.
I hope you get your answers quickly.
Sorry about the sh*tty nurse. I’ll be thinking of you this morning and hoping that you get some answers soon.
Jesus Christ. And the rollercoaster continues . . .
I’m hoping that Rebecca is right.