Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head

Another day. Just a regular, plain, ordinary, nothing happening day. A wednesday.

The monotony of life is starting to feed into my already scheduled depression. I am becoming paranoid about little things: why aren’t people returning e-mails? Why are the neighbors that live on either side of our house arguing in front of my window? Why is GM still sleeping? Why don’t I have more control over my life?

It sucks to be on roller skates inside your own brain, going round and round and not really getting anywhere.

I am ready to be done with January. I need a new month with new prospects for happiness. I need to be out of the month that brought me the happiest day of my life and the lowest day of my life.

I’m tired of the setbacks and the blue days that lead into blue nights that lead into blue weeks. I am tired of being so needy and clingy and demanding. I just don’t even like myself anymore.

Probably not a good idea to blog when it is raining and the things that you want out of life seem so far away.

January 30, 2008 | Filed Under everyday life

Comments

22 Responses to “Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head”

amanda on January 30th, 2008 2:10 pm

My heart is breaking for you…
i have been thinking about you so much every day and getting teared up. i hate all of this for you. You deserve a break, seriously.
gypsygrrl on January 30th, 2008 3:10 pm

we are here to love you when you arent liking yourself too much. we are way strong, and can totally handle the needyness and clingyness. it is hard to feel yourself being needy - i know i hate when i feel that needy/clingyness - but i know there are people who love me, near and far, who dont mind me hanging on…

i guess i just wanted to take a minute to tell you, you are loved, and welcome to hang on as long as you need to.

i am posting you a little tree porn today. all for you…
love and more love…
xo
Blondie on January 30th, 2008 3:19 pm

I’m so with you on ending January. Posted a proposal on my blog.

Can we just be DONE with it already?

Love to you, always.
Jennifer on January 30th, 2008 3:59 pm

First, you need to upgrade to rollerblades. Smoother ride than skates. I am glad this month will be behind you in mere moments. This has been a rough start to 08. But it won’t stay that way, I promise. You really are indefatigable. I am sure you would like a chance to prove just how good you are with steady happy days, and not sad. It WILL happen. Even though it seems impossible, it will happen. I know, I wouldn’t listen to this drivel either but I know what you are feeling. I have been there (in my own way) and know how shitty it is. But it won’t last. February will be better than january for certain.

Now go check your email!
V on January 30th, 2008 4:29 pm

I’m so hoping that things turn around for you, that you get your $$ back, and you can start saving again. I don’t know when things will get better, but they do. The trick is surviving till then, and we’ve got your back. ((hugs))
meg on January 30th, 2008 4:48 pm

I am sorry Cali. I hope February brings you brighter days and happier moments.
Jen, the dismantled armadillo on January 30th, 2008 6:00 pm

Is it wrong that I didn’t even drag a comb through my hair and just put a hat on my greasy assed head?
I’m on those skates too girl.
February HAS TO BE BETTER. I know cuz Sue said so.
Hope today is brighter than yesterday for you :o)
Jennifer on January 30th, 2008 6:20 pm

What are your future plans? Maybe you can enroll in some college or vocational courses directed at what you want to do after you are done with taking care of your Grandmother. do you want to be a chef? a writer? A professional photographer? I think having a goal in mind always helps move forward. Plus you might meet some great friends. Can you take classes at night after your Mom comes home from work to take over caring for your GM?
Aunt Becky on January 30th, 2008 6:48 pm

I feel you sister, really, suprisingly, I do.

Let’s just hope (and/or pray) that Feb has better stuff in store for all of us.

Lots of love, and I hope that tomorrow is a brand new great day, eh?
Care on January 30th, 2008 6:54 pm

Just wanted to say I’m thinking of you today, and all of the other yucky, gray kind of days. I’m hoping February brings sunshine (and money would be good too.)
Michell on January 30th, 2008 6:55 pm

Oh I know those skates. Where I start imagining everyone dislikes me or is mad at me or doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. I’m sorry you are dealing with all this crap and that January has been so sucky for you. Lets hope and pray that February is a much better month for you and so many others. Hugs to you.
jp on January 30th, 2008 8:35 pm

Hey there-
The best yoga thing to do to bring on a better feeling is to invert- any pose that puts your head below your heart. Foward bends and if you are feeling up to it a headstand against the wall. The obvious reason is that the blood flow to the head increases good chemical circulation, my rationale was always that the bad thoughts and feelings were draining from the top of my head!
starrhillgirl on January 30th, 2008 9:08 pm

Aye. January is fucking loooonnnngggg this year - wtf? I’m done with it, too. I’m with Jennifer, upgrade to rollerbades and let’s leave this shitty ass month behind.
xoxoxoxox
Lo on January 30th, 2008 9:43 pm

Well, as a previous poster pointed out…I have also not dragged a comb across my head. You’re ahead of both of us.

And you were able to quote a Beatles song in your glum post. Mine would be titled “Shoot me in the head” or something creative like that.

I know what you mean about getting the hell out of this month (from other times in my life) and I hope February brings you better things.
Sara- Village on January 30th, 2008 10:25 pm

I’m done with January too! Come on February- at least you’re one month closer to spring/summer!!
Tracey on January 30th, 2008 11:27 pm

I agree.. NEW MONTH PULEEASE!!!!
cait on January 31st, 2008 1:13 am

Sending hugs and wishes for happier days. SOON.
sabrina on January 31st, 2008 1:54 am

i answered your email and i think you’re fabulous. you can cling to me any old time you want, m’dear.
kittenroar5 on January 31st, 2008 4:41 am

i know this will seem like an odd comment, but reading your posts makes me feel better. i am feeling much the same as you, but also feel pressure from the outside to just. get. over. it. already. your emotions validate my own.

did that make any effin sense?
purklemonkey on January 31st, 2008 4:55 am

Hi,

Just wanted to let you know I was out here, wishing you well. Only a few more days to go. Hang in there!
Pepper on January 31st, 2008 6:04 am

The day-to-day stuff is notorious for causing the rollerskates in one’s head to spiral out of control. Just one more day left in January and then a new month will be yours. For this final day, make a list of everything you look forward to about February and the new month will be here before you know it. And you’ll already have your to do list completed!

xo
Weapons: Bos on August 13th, 2008 2:55 pm

Always good to read about Rollerblading, my ex was of olympic standards..

Can I ask though - how did you get this picked up and into google news?

Very impressive, is it something that is just up to Google or you actively created?

Obviously this is a popular blog with great data so well done on your seo success..