The phone rang around 7pm last night from an unfamiliar number. GM was asleep and Mother was still at work and I was way too into watching Extra to deal with all of the political calls that had been coming in. (anyone else on speed dial for both political parties? It is annoying as hell) So I lazily answered the phone, all prepared to tell the person on the other end of the line to not ever call us again. The caller began with, “Mrs. _____?” First sign of an annoying phone call is when the caller can not pronounce your last name.
I cheekily replied, “Sorry, no one here by THAT name.”
The caller then used my first name. Oh. Um. Yes. That would be me. Then he apologized for not saying who he was. “Sorry to be bothering you so late, this is Dr. [Liver].”
BOING. He now had my attention. Instinctively I reached across the couch to the table where the box of anti-viral tissues perched. If a doctor is calling you at home, after the evening news, it is clearly going to be bad. Bad, bad, bad.
Here is what Dr. Liver had to say to me (& no, I am not making his line up), “I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that you do not have Hep C, the bad news is that you will no longer be my patient.”
Ok, let’s bypass the cheesy delivery of his news and just go right for the meat of it: I DO NOT HAVE HEP C!!!!!
Dr. Liver explained that either I was a rare, rare, rare case of someone getting Hep C and then getting “over it like the flu” (not really possible) OR that I never had it in the first place. I have zero virus in my blood. None. Nada. Zip.
I got off the phone with him and immediately called Mom, who was on her way home. She screamed and I (as quietly as I could) screamed back and then we both started crying.
And I cried so much, I am still crying. It is a mess of crying. I am full of so many emotions: rage over a canceled cycle, sadness for the almost recipient, elation over not being sick, pissed off that I have to go through meds again, scared that I won’t respond at all, nervous that something else will find a way to get fucked up.
I haven’t even called the clinic yet. I was going to e-mail them, but I think with news like this I should deliver it over the phone. And so what if I cry, right? It was a shitty thing that happened. And an even scarier one to have to spend so much time on. And I find it horrific that this is the week that I most likely would have had my beta. I can get really chocked up on the “what might have been”.
But for now I am going to try and be optimistic. I get knocked down but I get up again.
I can never thank you all enough for being here for me as I go through all of this. Don’t ever doubt that leaving a person a comment or e-mail helps. It does. BIG TIME. Just knowing that all of you guys, and then all of your readers, were supporting me and offering advice and assistance- it was very healing. Thank you, thank you.
Time to get ready for the IVP’s IVF!