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The Weekend (l o n g)

This past weekend a member of the IVP that I have known since practically my 1st IUI (awww) made an executive decision that I needed to get out of my fucking house and have some fun. The good news was that Sarah lives ‘only’ 4+ hours away and it was a holiday weekend. The possibly bad news was that I’ve never had a house-guest in the new place and was worried about how GM would behave & if I could remember how to be a good host.

Sarah arrived just in time for lunch on Saturday. There are parts of the city that I have never been to and having an out of town guest is the perfect opportunity to explore. Mother let us borrow her fun convertible and the weather was amazing - I was so happy. We drove across the river and checked out a very hip vegetarian place.  Seriously- they have this amazing hot dog that is really just a carrot. mmmmm….Bonus points were also given to the buzzed out counter attendant that kept telling us the special for air quotes brunch air quotes.  Could never figure out why it was “brunch” and not just brunch.

We did loads more driving around Saturday. Driving around being one of my favorite things. I can’t tell you how lovely it was to be out of the house and not full of anxiety or guilt.

Dinner was at a surprisingly good Thai place not too far from my house. I’m not used to restaurants being in strip malls.  Something about it just seems off.  This place was just next door from a tame sex shop and a prosthetic fitting office (I wonder if they ever get peanut butter in their chocolate…). However once you were inside it felt like you were in a real (air quotes?) restaurant. I haven’t had pad thai in three hundred years and dayum was it good.

It was decided that in order to consume more wine that we should head back to my house and watch a movie.  I had just gotten in Children of Men from that dvd rental in the mail site and was certain that it would be a good Saturday evening film.  Mother was still up and behaving so she joined us in the den for an evening of cine-mah.

So picture this, I’m at the dvd player, I open the little red envelope and instead of Children of Men it is the chick flick movie that I was planning on watching all by myself so that I would never have to admit in public that I watched it. um. And it is the only dvd.

So I present the situation as a comedy of errors and try to laugh my way out of it.  Mother, on the other hand, upon hearing the cast of chick flick, gets a look in her eyes like she thinks this movie has the potential to be the best movie she has ever seen in her life. My house-guest, however, upon hearing the plot, immediately starts making barf noises.

What do you do?  Well if you are me you feel torn.  Torn between wanting to look cool for your house-guest and wanting to watch the chick flick for reals.  Plus all of Sarah’s kvetching, in the hazy filter of a few glasses of red wine, was looking kind of comical. Yes. So we put it in and I have to tell you.  The movie was horrible. Awful. Not a thing redeeming about it except a funny moment over a character’s name. But watching it with Sarah and then my Mother booing and hissing at the screen? Priceless.

Sunday was a day of culture.  We went to the #1 tourist place in my city, something that I was dreadfully afraid of because of crowds, and it was actually almost empty.  We were able to walk around and not rub elbows with red necks or drunk people.  There was even an opportunity to ride a boat around the river.

After some lunch we drove around the old historic district and ooh’d and aah’d over all of the giant houses. Next stop was a museum that was nearly impossible to find. Luckily Sarah is the same type of museum goer as I am so I didn’t have to stand for hours gazing at a single portrait or muse on porcelain. There was even a place to simply sit and color and that might have been my favorite part.  The museum also had 2 acres of gardens right on the river so we plonked on our summer hats and took a stroll.

Saturday evening was supposed to be mellow.  A movie in a real live movie theatre and dinner at whatever fun place we could find. We picked a movie to see at the local cinema and drove off in Mother’s fun-mobile.  I pulled in to a primo space in the shade, got out of the car, and somehow activated an extremely stealth anti-theft device.  The car completely shut down.  As in I couldn’t lock it with the key chain thingie, I couldn’t get the car to start, I couldn’t get the car to do anything. Panic! My Mother’s car!

Insert here hours of no fun, sitting in a parking lot, stressing out, missing a movie, waiting for a tow truck, dealing with weird people, and feeling like the worst host EVER.  Everything worked it self out eventually. (thanks to a surge from getting a jump start we were able to override the anti theft.  And now that I told you that, please don’t go steal my Mother’s car.)

Sunday was more driving around looking at rich people’s houses - this time they were the ones at the ocean. Every other house was gasp worthy. At every stop sign perfect tanned families with their flaxen haired offspring crossed the street to play at the ocean.  sigh.

After some breakfast at an established diner Sarah was on the road back to her life and I was back to mine.  Which brings us to GM.

I will say that GM was excited about a house guest.  She helped me get the room ready and asked lots of questions about who Sarah was and how I knew her.  I was honest and said that Sarah and I were both trying to have babies in unconventional ways and that we met in a virtual support group.  Funny- I can’t imagine I would have been so honest with GM a few years ago.  So pre visit GM was sort of giddy.

Once Sarah got here GM was more quiet and almost shy.  Well actually she was probably asleep in her den chair for most of the time Sarah saw her.  But when she was awake she was kind and well behaved and almost sweet.  However it was reported to me that when I would leave GM got very pouty and would say that I didn’t love her.  That I was going to leave her.  That I would rather be out with someone my own age.

Sunday, the day that Sarah left, was the beginning of GM’s guilt trip. Lots of whimpering and snarky things said about me and how I abandoned her.  Lots of comments such as, “I know you don’t love me anymore.”  It was pure and simple jealousy. ugh.

Yesterday it began as more of the same.  I had to go into overdrive to get her mindset turned around. It was exhausting.  And not to seek blame, but I have to wonder if part of GM’s issue is that Mother is not as active with GM as I am.  So while GM was most certainly not left alone, she may have felt that way as Mother spent most of the weekend napping on the couch.

This is bad news for when I eventually will go off for my IVF.  I am starting to think more and more about not doing local monitoring and instead taking a week and a half break to go up to Northeast clinic. (this is hypothetical people, calm down, I have not gotten any phone calls…yet) I am just hopeful that once we get this home health aid thing sorted out (I am in line to be called back for intake paperwork) that it will be someone that can stimulate GM.

I also have to remind myself that I SHOULD be going out more and doing things for me.  Of course GM is going to want me to always be around, but it might be better for both of us if I was able to recharge more.  I am certainly in a better mood having had company and extroverted activities- that can only make me a better caregiver.

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