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New Theme & the neighborhood dilema
So I currently live in what I have described as a gated community. While that, in and of itself, is a new thing for me, living in a neighborhood is not. There are unwritten rules in any given neighborhood, most of these falling into the category: neighborly things. These things would include up righting a garbage can if it has rolled into the street on a windy night, slowing down considerably when children are playing, purchasing the obligatory girl scout cookies when the door bell rings.
But the hardest and most challenging thing I have yet to figure out is the neighbor wave. The neighborhood in bama was relatively small. When you saw a person out walking their dog odds were that they lived next to you or a few houses down. If you were out walking with your dog and saw someone else either collecting their morning paper from the end of their driveway or out for a jog, you stopped, said hello and checked in with one another.
In this ‘hood there are SO many people out and about that it is exhausting to give them the same sort of neighborly treatment. If I am just collecting the paper and see a car drive by do I wave? What happens when 6 cars go by? If I just stand there and waved I could be out there all day before there is a lull in cars.
The other tough thing to learn is the one hand steering wheel acknowledgment. This could just be a Southern thing, but if you are in your car and another car drives past you in the opposite direction it is considered polite to lift your right hand off the steering wheel and show your palm. A lazy, quick, and uninvolved wave. A hello I see you and you see me and we see each other and there you go have a nice day.
Again as there is so much more traffic in this neighborhood I can’t figure out who gets the palm of my hand and who gets a nod and who gets jack. I started just giving palm to everyone, but then I realized that it would really piss me off if the person I palmed didn’t palm me back. Just who did those motherfuckers think they were NOT palming me. Are you in THAT big of a rush that you can’t palm back? Assholes.
ahem
So then I started being selective and took an almost passive role in the palming. If someone palmed me I would palm them back. But that didn’t feel as nice. I’m now back to palming everyone and I try not to look to see if they palmed me in return. I’m too fragile.
And don’t get me started on what the hell to do when you are out walking your dog and someone palms you as they drive by. And by someone I mean at least 20 people on their way to work but find themselves so enamoured of Charlie that they slow down to look at him, and by reflex I look at who is slowing down, eye contact is made and the next thing you know I am waving like an idiot.
It is exhausting.
(insert a segue here) Some very interesting photos where submitted this past week. If you still want to upload go right ahead. You can take a peek at what’s in the pool here. Feel free to leave people comments because it makes us smile. Yes we are photo whores that way. Or at least I am.
The new theme this week is: Sofa love. Friday through Tuesday upload your photos of your lovely love seat, comfy couch, chesty chesterfield, dazzling divan, sassy settee, and funky futon. Bonus points for anyone that still has a posh papa chair. Extra bonus points for cute pets (animal or a child) enjoying the sofa.
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6 Responses to “New Theme & the neighborhood dilema”
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Hmmm….
I don’t wave. Not normally at least. I wave on the water, but not on land. I also don’t ask people how they are because most of the time I really don’t care. And when they ask me how I am, I tell them. And it’s very rarely, “Fine, how are you?”
Most people stopped asking.
I love this post because it sounds like YOU and makes me laugh so freakin’ hard because I have had much the same conversation…with myself.
I don’t wave to cars. Usually because I don’t look up, so unless they wind the window down and shout my name out, they don’t get a wave. But you could do the pedestrian version of the palm - just raise your hand up from the elbow. If I was collecting the paper, there’d be no waving. At all.
But that’s just me. I say hi or good morning to every I pass when I’m walking, provided they are on foot or biking. Cars - bleh.
ok, living in Florida..this is what I do..when out at the mailbox, wave to the first car and immediately turn towards the house (so it seems that you didn’t see the line of cars)..when driving always palm wave everyone unless its someone who never ever returns the palm wave..when walking the dog and someone waves to you a head nod is customary..just my 2cents.
It’s totally a southern thing I think… the palm wave. We have other gestures here in the northeast while driving.
Seriously, my Brooklynite friend visited me when I was living in rural North Carolina. While I was in class one day, she walked my dog. People kept honking at her. She kept moving further and further to the side of the road until exasperated, she was like “All right! All right! I’m over as far as I can go.”
Then it hit her. They were being friendly. (Yeah, cars honk quickly when you’re walking to say have hi.) She was so unused to it.
(Not to give NYers a bad rap. I find that NYers can be very friendly. Usually, if I’m walking by myself, no one talks to me. But if I have Maggie the dachshund with me, I end up having lots of conversations with friendly people. Babies and dogs break the ice, even in colder climes.)
You could a) hold your hand up for a few as the cars pass you by, but this might be exhausting. Option b) is to keep a polite smile on your face and glance towards passing cars, and option c) is what might mean an occasional relief for those feeling the same way and just pretend you don’t see them. Then maybe you catch them the next time around and they know you aren’t just a snooty neighbor.