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Protected: THE NEWS
Finally I can report without any fear of jinxing: our bama house has sold.
wooo hoo!
It did not sell for our asking price, but there will be some money in the sell. After it is divided between Mother, Uncle and myself I should be able to buy 1/6 of an IVF cycle. It is a start and not having to pay double house bills will enable us to more actively save.
Thank fucking gawd. & thank you to everyone that crossed their fingers & held their breath.
phew.
New Theme & the neighborhood dilema
So I currently live in what I have described as a gated community. While that, in and of itself, is a new thing for me, living in a neighborhood is not. There are unwritten rules in any given neighborhood, most of these falling into the category: neighborly things. These things would include up righting a garbage can if it has rolled into the street on a windy night, slowing down considerably when children are playing, purchasing the obligatory girl scout cookies when the door bell rings.
But the hardest and most challenging thing I have yet to figure out is the neighbor wave. The neighborhood in bama was relatively small. When you saw a person out walking their dog odds were that they lived next to you or a few houses down. If you were out walking with your dog and saw someone else either collecting their morning paper from the end of their driveway or out for a jog, you stopped, said hello and checked in with one another.
In this ‘hood there are SO many people out and about that it is exhausting to give them the same sort of neighborly treatment. If I am just collecting the paper and see a car drive by do I wave? What happens when 6 cars go by? If I just stand there and waved I could be out there all day before there is a lull in cars.
The other tough thing to learn is the one hand steering wheel acknowledgment. This could just be a Southern thing, but if you are in your car and another car drives past you in the opposite direction it is considered polite to lift your right hand off the steering wheel and show your palm. A lazy, quick, and uninvolved wave. A hello I see you and you see me and we see each other and there you go have a nice day.
Again as there is so much more traffic in this neighborhood I can’t figure out who gets the palm of my hand and who gets a nod and who gets jack. I started just giving palm to everyone, but then I realized that it would really piss me off if the person I palmed didn’t palm me back. Just who did those motherfuckers think they were NOT palming me. Are you in THAT big of a rush that you can’t palm back? Assholes.
ahem
So then I started being selective and took an almost passive role in the palming. If someone palmed me I would palm them back. But that didn’t feel as nice. I’m now back to palming everyone and I try not to look to see if they palmed me in return. I’m too fragile.
And don’t get me started on what the hell to do when you are out walking your dog and someone palms you as they drive by. And by someone I mean at least 20 people on their way to work but find themselves so enamoured of Charlie that they slow down to look at him, and by reflex I look at who is slowing down, eye contact is made and the next thing you know I am waving like an idiot.
It is exhausting.
(insert a segue here) Some very interesting photos where submitted this past week. If you still want to upload go right ahead. You can take a peek at what’s in the pool here. Feel free to leave people comments because it makes us smile. Yes we are photo whores that way. Or at least I am.
The new theme this week is: Sofa love. Friday through Tuesday upload your photos of your lovely love seat, comfy couch, chesty chesterfield, dazzling divan, sassy settee, and funky futon. Bonus points for anyone that still has a posh papa chair. Extra bonus points for cute pets (animal or a child) enjoying the sofa.
Cross your Fingers
Today has the potential to be a very promising day. If I were to rate my days of goodness with one being not having to clean up hairball covered barf and ten having a healthy baby, this promising day would be a 6.
It has nothing directly to do with my having a baby, so don’t get too thrilled. But it could indirectly help move that along.
And before I have to spit towards the west and knock on wood for jinxing myself I will hush up now. Luckily the finale of the promising thing will be revealed on Wednesday. So, you know, cross those fingers.
Photo Friday: What makes your body unique?
Questions 3-18
Thank you for all of the questions. I really needed a bit of help to get back into the swing of blogging and this was a great kick start for me. Don’t forget: photo friday tomorrow thru tuesday.
3. Sarah Solitaire: If you had the energy and time to write a novel in the next year (and sufficient caffeine, etc, etc), what would it be about?
Before I could work on (um, finish) a novel I think I would need to purge the non-fiction part of my life. I would love to write an infertility and the single woman type of book. Something funny, realistic and with a nice tidy happy ending (like me editing as I nurse). I also would love to write something as a tribute to my GF. When I was in university and the years that followed in NYC my GF sent me a letter every week. They were long and thoughtful, extremely funny and full of love and advice. Some letters would recount his experiences in the war, others would tell the romantic courtship he had with my GM. The best letters were the ones where he confided things that he wished he had done differently with his life. Nothing major like I wish I never got married, but sweet regrets such as he wished he learned the names of trees. He was my true father figure and it would be so lovely to find a way to thank him for that. I suspect one of the reasons I feel so strongly about taking care of GM is because I feel in my bones that it pleases him.
4. Man-annie!: If any and all avenues and doors were opened to you at this moment - what would you do?
I would travel around the nation until I found my home. One of the hardest things about my life is that I have no location roots. I have people roots and moments in my life roots, but I learned pretty fast that the one place that I thought was my home (bama) was most certainly not. I feel like a dandelion seed going wherever I am blown and I dream about the day when I can take the time to find my spot.
5. Man-annie!: When you do laundry (and I know that you do), do you use 1 dryer sheet or more? If you use more than one at a time in a load full of towels, have you ever noticed that it is impossible to dry off with said towel?
I use a combo of fabric softeners depending on whose laundry I am doing. If it is my laundry I use about 3 fabric sheets per load in the dryer - but that is because I really dig the smell of the stuff. When I am doing Mother’s loads I use one non-scented sheet as she doesn’t like fabric softener smell & prefers to spritz herself silly with one of her many bottles of perfume. With GM I use something called Free clear so that her sensitive skin is protected. I wonder if you try using the liquid fabric softener your towels would behave better…
6. Kate: Please describe the most exciting (to you) interaction you’ve had with a celebrity.
I’ve had a couple exciting in a fun way moments with your random celebrity. But I think the most exciting (as in heart racing, this is horrible) interaction was when I had to fire an actress on a movie I was working on. My boss had decided that she was a lost cause and he was too busy chasing another actress to fill the part. So I was given the task of breaking the news to this gal that her big break was going to be a big bust. It was pretty shitty and I tried to be as kind as I could. However the good news is that the actress went on to become (sort of) successful.
7. Kate: If you could add a sixth sense, what would you choose to sense, and why?
I would like the ability to know the future- but with a stipulation. I ONLY would want to know the good things that are coming around the bend. I would love to able to tell someone that whatever shit they are wading through that there WILL be a better day. I would also like to be able to soothe myself with that same sort of knowledge. I think things would be much more bearable if I could have some sort of knowledge that everything will work out for the best.
8. Kate: Should I buy a silver mini-van or a midnight blue one?
I think I may be too late to answer this, but if it were me and those were my options I would go for blue.
9: Care: How many states and countries have you travelled to, and if someone handed you ticket to fly anywhere in the world - where would you choose to go?
I have visited 11 countries and only 21 states.
create your own visited countries map
create your own visited states map
If I could go anywhere I think I would go to Scotland again. Or Australia. Well also Tanzania. And maybe Germany and Austria…
10. hd: If I came to visit you in FL for the weekend, what would we do? What would we eat? Where would we go?
I haven’t really explored much (besides my weekly trips to the library) so I think I would use your visit as an excuse to have some local adventures. If it wasn’t too sunny I would insist that we take books out to the beach and read and then maybe we could grab something to eat at one of the cute cafes I have seen around atlantic blvd. And of course I would beg you to go see the roller derby girls with me.
11. lagiulia: in your heart of hearts, are you more of a grilled portobello-roasted red pepper-goat cheese panino type of gal or a philly cheese steak type of gal? What do you think that says about you?
Well I don’t eat pig or cow so I think the cheese steak is out, and the panini sounds a bit too froo froo for my tastes. Would it be ok if I just ordered a garden salad with the dressing on the side? I think that order says that I would hate to be a burden.
12. Namaste: If you could have a dinner party, and invite anyone you liked, alive or deceased, real or imaginary, who would you invite?
I have the capacity to hold 8 people around my dining room table (not including myself) so here are the 7 folks I would send an invite to: My Grandfather from 1990 (before he started to get sick), my Grandmother from 1985 (when she was super sharp and super cuddly), Vincent D’Onofrio (because), my 6th grade teacher (to thank her), Annie Liebovitz (to photograph the dinner and guests), Jennifer Weiner (because I think she would do a fab retelling of the evening), my Mother (as she will feel terribly left out if I don’t), and as he doesn’t require a chair I would have my dearly deceased Admiral Wyatt at my feet under the table.
13. Sherry: D. Barrymore story
The VERY short version: When I was in elementary school I concocted an elaborate lie that my best friend was Drew. For some reason kids I went to school with believed me and it made me a bit popular for the 1/2 year that I was enrolled at the school. (I moved around A LOT as a child and was prone to making up exotic stories to heighten my appeal in the quest for immediate best friends. I stopped in 8th grade for no reason at all other than I was bored of it.) Anyhow…years later I find myself working in hollywood for someone that had the same publicist as Drew. The assistant to that publicist and myself became fast phone friends (VERY different than real life friends). In one of those random moments of sharing I revealed to the pub. asst. that I had once gained popularity by claiming Drew as my dear friend. Months later I was walking with an actor to screen some dailies and Drew was on the lot filming a movie. She spotted the actor I was with and ran over to say hello (to him). Introductions where made (of me) and upon hearing my name she gave me a big hug and exclaimed how happy she was to be reunited with her long lost best friend. Embarrassment galore. Dumb story, but there you have it…in a nut shell.
14. Sherry: Tell us about your perfect job, child, mate, hobbies, locale and what you do for fun.
My perfect job would be getting paid to write. My perfect child would be anyone that is mine. My perfect mate would be somebody kind, open, loving and stable. My perfect hobby would be photography (on a fancier scale). Perfect locale would be somewhere colder than here and in a blue state. What I do for fun is read library books and read blogs. (oh and I drink wine. that is loads of fun!)
15. Tamsin: what are you absolute favorite memories (childhood or otherwise), of GF and (separately or together) GM (pre-illness)?
Most of my favorite childhood memories are tied up with my grandparents. GM teaching me how to cook is a fond one. With GF my favorite memory is of him teaching me about opera. The first one he exposed me to was Rigoletto. He first told me the story using magic markers as characters. Then we listened to a bit on record and finally we watched a production on tape. He was fond of sharing the things he enjoyed out of life with me: playing chess, taking long drives with the windows down in the winter, and when I was older he introduced me to German beer and fine port. It’s odd because now that I am thinking back I don’t have as many one on one memories with GM. She was always super busy with her genealogical clubs and her social groups. It is really now that I see how alike GM and I are/were.
16. Jeannette: what are your favorite movies and actors, male and female?
My favorite move is a depressing downer but I don’t care. I love it because of how raw and fucked up it is. The movie is Breaking the Waves starring Emily Watson. You probably won’t like it, it is rare that I find anyone that likes it in the same way that I do. Not that I think I am more clever - it is just that the movie pleases me in the way that picking a scab does. My other favorites are Raising Arizona, Tootsie, Spirited Away and The Philadelphia Story. As for favorite actors and actresses….Well I do adore all the Brits. I am not sure I could give you one favorite.
17. Shelli: what do you resent most about taking care of GM?
I resent that GM thinks the worst of me at times. It is common for people suffering with dementia to fear that people are out to get them. But it is Never easy to deal with it. GM has these horribly random moments of hiding things (such as dishes and mail) as she thinks that I want to steal them from her. When she can’t remember something she often accuses me of making things up and telling her lies. It pains me to no end that her mind has made it so that she thinks I would hurt her before it would simply think that she can’t remember something. It is also hard to give and emit so much love to a person and not have it reciprocated. GM never tells me that she loves me in an obvious way. What also sucks is that my Mother is an echo love giver. Meaning she rarely proclaims love unless somebody (me) says it first. It has made me feel like this horrible needy person, but if I don’t hear “I love you” at least once a week I start to crumble.
18. J- How does one actually make Sim-Porn, and what does it look like?
This is quite easy. You just acquaint one sim with another sim and if they are close enough they can woo hoo with each other. The porn element is really due to the music that the game plays when the sims make whoopee - it is very 1970’s and it always cracks me up.
Photo Friday is coming back!
I am still working on a monster post where I will answer all questions submitted, but I wanted to give all of you enough notice that Photo Friday will be back in full swing starting this week. I know we were working our way through the alphabet, and we may get back to it at one point, but we need some new inspiration for a new year of photos.
The theme for this week is: What makes your body unique?
Is it the fact that you have a bazillion freckles on your shoulders? Do you have ugly toes? Is your hair color beyond words? Funky scars? Try to capture something that brings out the beauty in the uniqueness of you. Upload them to the photo Friday site on flickr and on your blog by Tuesday of next week.
It has been a while since I felt inspired to take a photograph. Well not a while, but long enough for me to do something about it. This Sunday I took Charlie for a walk early in the morning. When we were just getting home I looked up and gasped at the wonders in the sky. The photo isn’t so brilliant, but the colors are.
Happy photographing.
And now for somthing new
Have you ever been told that something was exotic, maybe an acquired taste? We are bombarded with the notion that caviar, truffles, 50 year old tawny ports, Stilton cheeses are not to be consumed by those with weak palates. They are reserved for those with an ability to appreciate the finer things in life.
But you have to wonder: are people enjoying the exotic dishes because they are exotic or because they have been told that they should enjoy them.
Case in point- Yesterday I received a belated birthday present from Mother. She had even forgotten that she ordered it so when it never showed up no alarm bells went off. (I, on the other hand, was perplexed as it was the ONLY thing that I had asked for.)
For my birthday I wanted exotic coffee. I claim to be a bit of a coffee snob, but really that is only in how I prepare my coffee. The beans are just whatever looks the most exciting from the grocery store. A year or so ago I had seen Alton Brown’s show dedicated to making the perfect cup of coffee. In the show he exclusively used beans from a place in a small town in Georgia. This place imported (free trade all the way) coffee from all over the world.
As a coffee drinker probably the most exotic coffee I have ever had (not counting whatever St@rbucks schlocked) was a nice cup of kona. It was smooth and full bodied - it smelled amazing. But the desire to expand my coffee taste experiences has always been there.
Yesterday a pretty large box arrived chock full of coffee. Mother had only ordered 2 1/2 pound bags, but because the company had found her order lost in some random paperwork they sent me a bunch of samplers. Score!
This morning I went for the apex of coffee. Coffee from the Eden of java: Ethiopian Yirgacheffe.
The beans were almost black and shined like a pearl. When I ground them up the entire kitchen began to fill with the most intoxicating aroma. I might have heard Mahler’s Symphony #2.
I hovered around the coffee machine and inhaled each hiss of steam. Serious heady bliss. When pouring the coffee I was taken aback by how dark and strong the brew looked. Before I could take the first sip I got almost shy. Here was something so exalted, so worshipped, that wars were started over who had the rights to grow and harvest it. Somebody hand picked this coffee. They waited for the cherries to ripen and then they selected only the best. The beans were fermented in tanks for half a week so that the coffee would still taste a bit floral.
How could I rush into something so intense? I paused and then I dove in.
My first sip was horrible. awful. bitter. acid like. yuckity yuk yuk. ew.
I let the aftertaste hover in my mouth and felt like such a fucking failure. I was so beneath this coffee that I couldn’t even appreciate it. (this is what started me thinking about other people tasting exotic things and what their honest first reactions where.)
But then something weird happened. As I kept rolling my tongue around the insides of my mouth I became fond of the lingering coffee taste. And so I went back for another sip. Suddenly the taste was familiar, comforting and yes, good. I had (ta da) acquired the taste - and after only one (ok, maybe three) sips.
I am now half way through my second cup and I am a little jittery, but I feel like I could clean the entire house in an hour. I feel like an amazon superwoman.
When my beans from Ethiopia are gone I will then try Mexican Pluma and Sumatra.
How about you guys. What is the most exotic thing you have tasted?
Snow requests
I’ve been watching the weather reports and it seems that a good number of you are experiencing some of that white stuff. I know it is terribly selfish to be envious of something that I am sure is a huge pain in the ass for you, but I so miss winter!
If any of you are posting photos of snow or cold weather please let me know so I can drool over them.
Now I have to go wake GM and pray that I can get her into a bath before I take her to the pretty parlor. She had such a detached day yesterday that I am worried that her mood may be off today. Usually a good night of sleep will press her reset button, but you never ever know. Fridays are the most stressful day for me. Not only is it the only day that I leave the house, but it is also the day that Mother stays the longest at the office. I usually end up fast asleep as soon as I get GM into bed. I’m so rock star.
Question 2:
This comes from the fabulous Sophia:
What’s the strangest thing you ever witnessed in your LA job?
This is actually a pretty tough question. What was strange when I first started working at the studio changed the longer I worked there. When I first began my job it was as a front office receptionist. Having to chit chat with celebrities while they waited for meetings was strange & new. Some were shy and some were loud but it took a while for me to not spazz out. “I can’t believe I just met _____!”
Once I moved up to working for the (lactose intolerant) big cheese things that were previously strange became much more common. Seeing celebrities up close and having to deal with them being assholes or perverts? whatever. Having to turn my head while producers I worked with bought drugs? ho hum. Having heads of studios kick me out of their house? Happened more than once. Connecting (via phone) my former boss with the star of his movie when the star was in jail in Texas? well that was weird. But eventually nothing specific became strange.
Actually that isn’t true. My former boss was probably the strangest. You could poll any of my old roommates and friends from L.A. & even the ones that worked with A listers would put my boss at the top of the freaks list. I won’t get into details (because I signed something that said I never would) but imagine, if you will, working for a germaphobic, snob who hated people and had such specifics about how he lived in his day to day life that I had to…ok, I better shut up now.
(keep the questions coming, by the way…)
Question1:
As promised, here is the first answer to your round of questions. (they are great, by the way. & Yes, Sherry, at some point I will tell the Drew story)
Just a Trumpet Player asks: What is the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done in grade school?
To be honest I was not such a bad or naughty child in grade school. I had an extremely tense home life where I was always afraid of fucking up and upsetting my Mother. It wasn’t until high school that rebellion kicked in and all sorts of shit went down.
However, in elementary school, the one thing I could not control was my mouth. I was often the child with her name written in the corner of the chalk board with several checks for talking out of turn. I was a constant interrupter with questions or observations. I drove many of my elementary school teachers nuts. What I saw as simple curiosity was probably more like torture for them.
I needed to know “how come?” or “what if?” and “then what?”. In a classroom of nearly 30 students that just wasn’t doable. This is also where I tell you that I was extremely needy. So if I was told that there wasn’t time to answer my follow up questions I got down right bratty and annoying.
One teacher would have me write a list of my questions and send them home with me ala a safety pin to my t-shirt. It was then my assignment to get answers from my parental modules (my grandparents). I loved having the extra work. Unfortunately, this was the same teacher that would tell us she would hang us by our toenails if we didn’t behave. So, you know, there were some pros and cons with her.
In short I was an obnoxious, attention seeking, brat and that was my claim to naughtiness.
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