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The Groups
The Year in Review
2006: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly
(in a whatever sort of order)
The Bad:
1. Removing myself from close friends as I felt too dull or dreary to converse
2. GM getting worse & evolving from low moderate to high moderate
3. Freaking out about money daily
4. Moving away from friends & support in Alabama
5. Not selling the Alabama house (also known as: no IVF funds)
The Ugly (with notes):
1. weight gain (thankfully it is going down - more about that in another post)
2. increased acne (taming it slowly with creams & reduced stress)
3. Debilitating depression (actually thankful for it as it pushed me to get help)
4. regretting cutting my hair & resorting back to bun security mode
5. Being told that IUI’s were no longer a viable option and hating my body for failing me.
The Good:
1. Moving away and getting Mother & GM under one roof
2. Meeting people from the computer. It started with Sarah & then there was THE convention.
3. Meeting J & C’s son and working through some issues
4. Recognizing that I needed help with depression & getting it
5. Receiving the gift of hope from supportive friends (why the fuck do you even put up with me??) and from friends of friends (free meds kick ass!)
2006 was a lot of things and yet nothing at all for me. It was the end of my usual flavor of hope. The year I faltered in faith, and the year that dragged on through mud and it almost swallowed me whole. I had very few excellent moments in 2006 and so am now quite glad to be nearly done of it. 2006 can hit the road.
As for the next year, well I have long since learned not to set resolutions. That is one sure way of getting many hopes dashed. Instead I will allow the year to unfold like a (perhaps) quality novel. I’d like to see the main character get more support from her family. She should read more and call up her friends often. It would be lovely if a handsome, kind man would sweep her off her feet, but she will realize no sweeping can be done unless some weight is lost. Wonderful surprises should take away our hero’s breath and she should work to renew any damage that previous years have done to her. But at the end of the book, there had better be a nice, and tidy finale. Maybe a perky musical number with dancing and laughter.
Thank you all for your letters, e-mails, phone calls, thoughts. Things have not been good. GM has had way more bad days than good and they are taking its toll on my spirit. I have hermitted myself away to preserve what energy I have to cope with sometimes violent and often exhausting days with GM. She is on anti anxiety meds but I am starting think that she needs something more or something else. I am so behind in phone calls, news, e-mails, and blogs. That sucks.
I wish all of you that stop by here a calm and good new year. Don’t we all need it!
Comments
13 Responses to “The Year in Review”
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Great Hosting By:
I wish for you a New Year, filled all good things.
So sorry that things are getting worse with GM. I’m sure it is hard for you as her primary caretaker, but so incredibly hard on you as her granddaughter. I know how much you love her and it must be so awful to have her be so violent and moody. I can’t imagine. And it is coming at a time when you are most fragile. I wish there was something i could do to help you. All my love.
I am sorry that your GM is having so many bad days. Difficult for her, and even harder for you. Many wishes that the new year brings good things for you.
may your novel come to light with the upbeat, happy musical at the end.
Cali,
My Aunt was the sole caregiver for her GM who also had Alzheimers. Eventually she got to the point where you are at. More bad days than good, Her GM started to get violent. After a lot of research she put her GM in an Adult Daycare Program 3 days a week..it worked wonders. It was just for 4 hours a day..but my Aunt was able to have some time to herself to regroup. Just a thought..
Oh..your thoughts for the new year? Exactly what I wish..I’m stealing this paragraph..
I love you.
I hope 2007 is better than 2006. In so so many ways. I definitely hope you get that perky musical number with dancing and laughter at the end of the year.
I need the CALM, that’s for sure!
Wishing you the very best year yet (or at least a less sucky one…)!
Here’s hoping the new year finds us all losing weight, only to gain it all back when we win the lottery, go through IVF, and get pregnant.
Many hugs, Cali.
I wish you all the best in 2007. I’m missing your posts!
I loved the self-fertilizing lizard. I hope to hear from you soon!
-Jade
just wanted to send you my love
Come back Calli…we’re all pulling for you. I miss your updates. Hope you’re doing well despite your shitty circumstances.
you hanging in there ok, cali?