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My Muffins are exploding.
So did you know that little extra something that flops over the waist of your favorite pair of jeans has a name? It’s called the muffin. I’ve always had a bit of a muffin being a classic pear shaped female.
But this morning I realized I no longer have muffins. There is no cute name for what I have. The first thing that comes to mind is inner-tube. I have a large, fleshy inner-tube that now hangs over my jeans.
Easily I can point fingers:
the stress!
the emotional chaos!
the depression!
the injections!
the boredom!
But as my dear friend Marta always says, let’s be real.
The real culprit is that I am eating too much shit and not working out. Sure a couple stress pounds would be understandable. And I’ve read how other women have easily gained a pant size after just one injectable cycle. I’ve had three injectable cycles & I think it would be safe to assume that I have gained THREE pant sizes.
So the first step is to acknowledge that I have a problem.
(ah! Again! When will food STOP consuming my life??)
Now what do I do about it? Do I fast? Do I go nuts at the gym?
In a way it is paralyzing to know how out of shape I am in because I know how hard it is going to be to get on the road to healthy. & healthy is the goal here. It would be one thing if I looked in the mirror & saw the inner-tube but didn’t care because I was so blissfully happy. But I am not happy. I am annoyed and frustrated and sad and full of familiar hate for this jiggling porpoise that looks back at me.
That’s right I went from seeing I need to loose some weight to full scale body hating. & why shouldn’t I hate this body? What has it done for me lately?
So after admitting I have a problem what is the next step? What is the healthy step?
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11 Responses to “My Muffins are exploding.”
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I totally hear you, but I have no answers. I’m in the same spot. In fact, I stopped TTC to get it together on the weight front and am STILL paralyzed by inaction.
-Anne
you know the drill…find the love even if it is the size of a mustard seed.
until then I love you
Hoboy. If I knew, I’d tell you. If you figure it out, email me.
My goals are always to find exercise I enjoy, and to renovate my diet so that I am eating healthy foods without feeling like I am denying myself. All easier said than done.
And…don’t hate your body. I think you’re pretty!
Take it from Big Butt:
-Starvation works, and then it all comes back plus some.
-NO ONE wants to live on lettuce. Don’t lie.
- Killing yourself at the gym is a ridiculous idea because unless you’re a movie star (and you are to me, but, you know…) you can’t afford a personal trainer and w/o one of those… just being honest… it’s a helluva lot harder.
Seriously? Do Weight Watchers. Swear to God it works. You just have to stick to it. It has you exercise 20 minutes a day. (Not unrealistic.) and eat whatever you want, but if you wanna splurge on the hot fudge sundae, it might be the only thing you can eat all day. They use a “point” system (at least, they used to) where everything you eat equates to a number. You are allowed “so many points” a day. I know it sounds like kaka, but listen Red, it works.
And I’m RIGHT THERE with ya.
I hear ya, girl. WW is good and they have it online too. Go for portion control, low fat with good quality protein and lots of fruits and veggies. If you could walk or do something about 30 min a day that would be good too. Good luck!
Ok, here’s my recent life thoughts. I was always one of those naturally thin girls. Yes, go on, y’all… hate me, hate me, hate me.
I’m still thin. My doctor never blinks at my weight, even though I’m 20 pounds heavier than I used to be.
At any rate, I am now, at 32, for the first time in my life watching the pounds go on, watching my metabolism slow, watching my clothes size increase, meeting my muffin. This was bugging me so much that I was ready to go all “exercise/watch what I eat” crazy. Until… I remembered I’m trying to get pregnant. I’m not saying it’d be bad to eat better or exercise more while I’m trying to do that, but the body likes stasis. (a) If I mess around with my metabolism by undereating or if I overexercise, I could screw up my fertility. (b) If I’m trying to get myself into a situation where I am SUPPOSED to put on weight and grow a muffin, what does it matter if I look perfect right now? I’m deliberately planning to f–k it up!
So, my new philosophy is… I don’t have to care about my weight too much. Not sure if that’s a good or bad philosophy, but it’s mine.
I’ve always called it “Busting Biscuits”.
My answer is: you already know what works for you in terms of eating well and exercising. This is not a matter of lack of knowledge, or lack of “will power”. You have had some hormones which make you gain weight, and you probably overeat and don’t exercise. On Oprah recently they did a weight show and what stuck with me was the phrase “it’s a matter of physics” meaning it is as simple as: if you eat more then you burn you gain weight. I love it because all of the judgment is taken away. And this is what I mean about it not being about “doing” something different. Food is emotional. For many of us food is love, comfort.
I think change will come when you bring awareness to why and how you eat, and how you live in your body. For me eating well and a healthy lifestyle come from feeling good about myself, from believing that I deserve to feel good, that I deserve to live well and happy upon this earth. Currently I am not eating well or exercising. And that is because I am depressed. Wow, long post. This topic is very pertinent to my own struggles right now.
Sorry about the rant. My answer is: work on the insides, the emotional components (you will make your therapist rich!) and the outward “to dos” will follow. Or at least do them concurrently.
i tried WW for a 10 week thing but couldn’t get into the point system. i didn’t put my heart into it though so don’t go by that.
i used to be in a group called TOPS (take off pounds sensibly) and had some good success with that. you do your own thing and others are there for encouragement and information. they also have an online sight
i am currently using their food diary sheets and am using the exchange method with coaching from a dietician. when i took college classes i once went to a nutrionist (student) there and that might be an avenue for you to try. the particular person i got had her own issues (not weight related) that were more her focus than me so i didn’t go back.
Hi honey. You seem to get a lot of support and advice through this blog. Maybe you can start a blog that focuses on a healthy lifestyle? Just an idea. Connecting with other people going through the same experience always helps!
Good luck!
I know for me, blogging has been a helpful piece of both eating healthfully when I was pregnant, and now trying to responsibly and sanely return to pre-ttc weight.
Personally, I’m too lazy for a full on food or exercise diary. I could do one for about 3 days and then I’d quit for sure. Maybe sooner.
But I like being accountable to my little corner of the blogosphere for eating fruit & veggies, and I’m thinking about adding exercise to my little daily “count” on the blog.
Good luck, again, with finding what works for you, especially while you’re TTC.