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The Groups
Surgery Instructions
Yesterday I got a thick envelope from my RE’s office detailing specific before, during & after information regarding the upcoming laparoscopy.
I tell you it freaked me out!
Whoever wrote the instructions was certainly trying to be amusing & clever, cracking little jokes here & there. But when it comes to surgery instructions I prefer less fluff, more seriousness. When knives are involved don’t joke people!
One of the more bummer issues in the instructions is the ‘rule’ that I must walk as much as I can after the surgery. It actually says, “Rest, but do not lie down all the time…spending all day on the sofa and all night in bed will not help the body heal.”
WHAT?????
Ok, I have never ever ever had surgery before, but in the movies & on tv the post-op people are IN BED and ringing bells for help or kool aid. Now you are telling me that I can’t lounge? Lounge seems like a very important step to healing.
I am debating letting anybody else sees these instructions. At this stage they could only be used for bad & not good. I must use the force. There is no way I can milk getting waited on if anybody sees it.
& look- I am not a brat. I am a workoholic. I am up at 6:00am everyday cleaning house, paying bills, shopping, taking care of Grandmother. I am a stay at home Granddaughter. I hate asking for help & I hate needing people.
I was planning on letting go AS (after surgery). Trying to chill out & let others take care of me.
Now I have these instructions that tout, “YOU are in charge of your own healing.”
Bullshit. I will challenge this.
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7 Responses to “Surgery Instructions”
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Hey Cali,
You lounge away after surgery. Sure, you need to walk as much as possible, but it’s going to be more like shuffling, and in stretches of 10 minutes at a time, at most. Hey, if you want, I’ll send you my surgery instructions, which don’t mention anything about not lounging, so you can show them to your mom. Oh, and tell her to get you a bell so you can ring for her assistance!
First, a disclaimer: I am not a doctor. I have, however, had minor surgery (they sewed up the cartilige in my knee a few years back). Okay, now the comment: They want you to walk so you don’t get a blood clot and die. Seriously. But I think Sarah’s on it - they don’t exactly expect you to hop up and run out to the grocery store.
Frankly, after two D&Cs (both totally ‘under’) this year, I didn’t even read the instructions for the lap/hyst. Here’s all you need to know:
• No eating/drinking after midnight. You can maybe talk the nurse into giving you ice chips at the hospital, because you will suddenly feel thirsty at 12:01. If you take a daily medicine, you also may be able to get away with taking that in the morning. Ask ahead of time.
• Get a Vicodin prescription. Have your driver fill it on the way home. You won’t care.
• Wear yoga pants for a few days. You will be bloated.
• If you have pain in your abdomen, liver area or shoulder: don’t freak out. It’s the carbon dioxide leaving your system. It is more annoying than anything and can last several days.
• If you’re having a hyst too, get lots of pantiliners. Even if you don’t bleed the first day, you WILL need them.
What is not true:
• The ‘eat light’ the night before. I eat heavy. Always have. Did fine.
• ‘Walking will speed healing.’ No, rest. Rest everything. You will be too drugged to do otherwise.
• ‘You are in charge of your own healing.’ Uh, no. As long as you don’t rip off the bandages prematurely or not take your meds, you’ll be fine. I also waited a week and a half to put my belly ring back in - although it did rub during sex later. A little antibiotic ointment did the trick then.
You will be shocked how quickly you heal from this. It is very easy surgery, easier than a D&C. Really.
I agree. Lounge away. Walking can mean just getting up to go to the loo and taking the long way round. It doesn’t mean go back to work and start doing what you usually do - you won’t be able to for a few days, anyway, as the incisions will hurt.
Cali, thinking of you and sending you warm fuzzies for the surgery. And I love the blog you’ve set up for gran! XX
I found you via fertility friend. I am having my first (and hopefully last) lap Nov. 10 and I was totally looking forward to the break to lounge on the couch and watch trash t.v. I go in for my Pre-op in two days. They better not tell me to be in charge of anything!
You are in charge of not running a marathon, not smoking, not skydiving, not letting the cat lick you anywhere, and not eating something someone offers you with the intro of ‘this is really gross.’
Other than that, you ain’t in charge of nothin’, except making sure to take your meds and take it easy and walk around a bit each day. Ring your damn bell as much as you want and let someone take care of you for a while.