About 15 (!) years ago my Grandparents drove up to Chattanooga to participate in a strange & new ritual:Grandparent’s day. I was 5 months in at this stuffy, all girls, prep school & trying my best to be just like everybody else. (a fact evident in my hair-do) Everybody else’s Grandparents seemed to live in town (& own a couple of mountains) so I was pretty nervous that come the day I would stand alone. Standing alone was something I had grown accustomed to for occasions honoring Dads, but I had Grandparents & I wanted to show them off. Proclaim to all the rich kids, “See! I came from good people!” (maybe that is just a Southern thing.) Let’s just say it was important to me.
I completely took for granted that my GM & GF cancelled their plans and drove the long drive just to have a Polaroid snapped and munch on some reheated quiche-letts. I was entitled!
I introduced my GP’s to anyone & everyone: teachers, students, maintenance workers (any child of a single parent will know the names of all the maintenance people at their school. Trust me on this. When it is 6:30pm & you are still waiting for your Mom to get out of her meeting you make friends with the lovely ladies that mop.)
As nuts as it is to admit, I do think that I made new friends that day because I had classy Grandparents. That afternoon, after classes were over, I was picked up promptly in a pristine white Cadillac & people noticed. I wasn’t just that loafer kid that seemed to live at the school: I was the Grandchild of…
(Oh & don’t worry about my fervent embracing of the ritzy life. The following year I discovered feminism & trumpeted how awesome my Mom was/is for working her ass off to raise me.)
That brings us to today. Today is Grandparent’s day at my 6 year old cousin’s, A, elementary school. My Grandfather has been deceased for 2 1/2 years (ok, that still smarts to type) and my GM is a shadow of her former self.
Last night I laid out GM’s dress for today & wrote out a note to place at her bedside table reading: Today you will go to A’s school. You will get your photo taken with A. I have put $5 in your wallet to pay for the photo. You will be home by 12:30.
I am scared for her. I am sad for A. He may never see or know how amazing our GM is. I feel guilty for having so many amazing moments with her. We have had nearly 30 years with each other. A will be lucky to get 10. & of those 10 I shudder to think what he will really get.
So yes, I am slipping GM a xanax with her regular morning pills this morning. I know she is petrified of “messing up”. She is embarrassed to have a cane, but most of all she is afraid to do Grandparent’s Day without a Grandfather by her side.
